Sounds like my kind of personality.

Retarded.

We're getting acquainted with ourselves this holiday, it seems. Well, seeing as how I'm getting zero social contact from the outside world (...either by choice or by design...? *solitary weeping*) it can't really be helped. After weeks of shouting back and forth in my tiny space; all 1130 cubic centimeters of gray matter, I decided that typing it out won't do anyone much harm. Except bore people to death I suppose.

Talking about boredom, holidays are a necessary boredom in college life. The dull, monotonous, repetitive days seems to spur students to take hold of their lives and gear up for some action! Something new, something challenging, anything will do! Just take away my boredom ple-eehh-eehh-eehh-ease.

So says Sakinah but here she is heating up the bed with the netbook. 

Well I tried to teach my sister Form 4 Chemistry, but that gave me a headache so I've been avoiding giving her further lessons. Sorry mum, for being a useless role model. I tried doing some simple SPM questions by myself and they were surprisingly difficult. It's a cinch once you've figured out the steps, but still, I was pretty embarrassed that my PASUM credentials didn't guarantee instant recall with some of the trickier chemical formulaes. Goes to show that any lesson learned goes to waste without use or practice. 

With teaching out of the way, I tried to devote my days to drawing. I set myself with a new challenge this season: colouring! And what a mess that turned out. I would snap some shots and post it here myself, or on Tumblr at least, but uuuh...oh it's going to turn into such a huge joke! Purple skin, yellow hair, blue lips...If it's not clear to you by now, then let me spell it out for you. I have a huge problem with colour mixing and combination. Or simply, I have never looked properly at a human being before. Maybe I'll gather up the guts to post some of them here so we can all have a good laugh. At my expense. 

Hmmm...what else....oh! Congratulations to Dato' Lee Chong Wei for a magnificent game! I realise this is uber late and all but let me add my own tiny contribution of heartfelt gratitude to the swirling mass of love Malaysia has for their badminton champ. ESPN described the match perfectly in a line,

'Skills may win you medals, but attitude wins you hearts.'

This entry has been nothing but another raggedy patch of thoughts. That said, happy Ramadhan folks! 

Hahaha, okay, walaupun ak kata mcm tu tp sebenarnye taklah tau sgt apa yg nk cerita. Yeah, org Melayu yg berbahasa BI bak kata kacang lupakan kulit, pengkhianat bangsa dan negara! Yeah, org yg solat 5 waktu sudah tentunya org baik, tak minum arak, tak pukul anak mahupun isteri! Yeah, perempuan yg tk pakai tudung semuanya pelacur! Umpama sekilas ikan di air sudah tahu jantan betinanya, begitulah juga dengan perwatakan manusia, tengok sikit dah tahu baik jahatnya. Wow byk pulak peribahasa yg keluar, aiseeeh. Tapi ada jugak satu lagi peribahasa that went something like dalam laut boleh diduga, dalam hati siapa tahu?

Whatever it is, org mcm Tok Sam is a dime a dozen, and ak dah malas dah nk kecik hati dgn benda ciput mcm tu. Whatever I went through is nothing compared to what my youngest two sisters went through at school (and so did Soms' sister or so I gather). Adibah sampai menangis2 taknak pegi sekolah sbb di-ostracize-kan. Kenapa? Sbb dia cakap bahasa omputeeeeh *bagi extra mak cik punya slang* Org tua mcm saya, kamu dan Tok Sam tu satu hal; budak hingusan mcm ni pun satu hal gak. Agak2nye apelah yg fikirkan time blaja BI susah-payah dlm kelas. 'Cis, kenapa pulak ak kena belajar bahasa penjajah ni?'...something like that kot. Tapi bila menjerit2 tgk idola J-drama diorang tak ke pulak pikir camtu.

Kalau blh nak jugak sentuh pasal kenapa dan bagaimana perkara mcm ni blh berlaku. Tapi ak cuma blh buat spekulasi saje, krn Allah shj yg mengetahui.

moving forward to make that dream a reality has got to be one of the most fulfilling sense of achievement imaginable. but lately, it's getting a little embarrassing to share dreams together with peers. not that the content of the imagination itself is anything to be shy about, but the conscious comparison one can't help but draw when one speaks dreams out loud. there are others who have managed to make their dreams come true, and there are others who simply have to make do with what they have. then there are those who rot away underneath, because their dreams grew too ripe with nary a hope of being plucked. i see that a lot with people around me. they grow old and burdened, sighing little voices of regret to themselves every now and then. they still brave on though, because life doesn't end when dreams die (rather, some people would say that children grow up when they stop dreaming...but what kind of twisted grown-up would that make?). they pass on their dreams to the young, and it is up to them what to do with it because they might have their own secret dream as well.

my own personal dreams have been extremely varied. it ranged from owning a large private house to being a unicorn princess (cue condescending laughter) and such other fancies. now that i have grown older and am able to review my dreams more objectively, i say that i definitely want to learn more languages. there are thousands of spoken languages today, and imagine how many of those are written with some of the most exquisite use of phrase and cultural charm, and i'm clueless about it because i can't read the language! being bilingual in multi-cultural malaysia has lots of advantages, but it is also a sore reminder of what else i'm missing out on. there are certain things that can't be conveyed in a literary translation, not unless it ruins the flow of the story and the authors' style of writing, and i think it's a dreadful pity that intricate, hidden nuances such as these had to be destroyed in order to make the story more accessible to the general public. reason as to why al-Quran is kept in its original text, which makes arabic a top language to learn, besides japanese and german. mandarin isn't a bad choice either, what with the global economical trend leaning towards china.

i am sad that i haven't utilised bahasa malaysia as well as i could have. it's a shame, actually. went to the UM library some time ago to borrow books, hoping to come across a. samad saids' famous salina, but they only had one copy of the book and it was all the way over at the cultural faculty. growing up with a limited selection of bahasa books was definitely a major factor that turned me to english. sastera is difficult to learn, and there wasn't any bahasa books geared for adventure and mysticism suited for younger children back then. i remember having to whet my appetite with mastika once usman awang proved to be too hard for me to grasp. nowadays, whenever i stroll to the bahasa section, it doesn't seem like the selection of choices have varied much. most are romance novels with flowery words and religious values interwoven into the story. the entire section gives of the general feeling that once you've read one, you've read them all.

***

Can't come up with anything witty to describe the catharsis blissfully washing over me right now, but just let it be known that there won't be anymore posts tagged with expletives after this. It's a one-sided feeling unfortunately, and it's hard to tell what's going to happen next- or even if there's going to be any continuation; whatever, that's alright.

Lets start anew.

Hello. How are you? My name is-

***

Sometimes, I get the impression that religious folks who believe in -and worship- God are often portrayed as humourless creatures who are totally ignorant of human rights.

This can't be true.

Religious people appreciate a jokes just as much as anybody, because God Himself appreciates a good joke.

He created a species capable of extreme cruelty and violence and called it mankind.
What a joker.