And can you count the number of dead birds in the sky today? It was amazing, really. Such a miracle, I thought it would never happen! I definitely need to mark my calendar and prepare for the cat to grown horns. Corns and a rain dance should be adequate.

...

I believe I've mentioned how sarcasm has lost much of it's appeal. Well, it certainly has. Maybe it is because the scene I'm trying to draw out is too vague, overly ambiguous to the point of annoying. Trust me, if I could clarify the situation a little, even if it's just for the sake of my own sanity, then I would.

But I couldn't. The birds and the Prozac are the best I could manage, and even then I could barely shake myself out of this apathy. What bothers me most is my own ineptitude at caring, and this huge wall of ego that seemingly insists that my friendship has any value. What is wrong with thinking that I am a bad friend? Because that is what I am. And I don't care to point fingers at who started what first. Age has caught up with me, that is a game I no longer wish to play.

It's just so confusing.

Oh, dearest friend. The wind of change has finally caught up with us, or so it seems. Or perhaps, we've been losing the race for a long time.

Me : Ew.

Nadia: Inside the house.

Me : Ew.

Nadia : And it's alive.

*sound of furniture being thrown frantically aside to form a barrier of sorts against the bubonic plague carrier*

Damnit Socks, we appreciate your efforts in letting us join in the game, but frankly speaking, our predator-compass has been missing a magnet for a long time. We homo sapiens, particularly the daughters of Eve in the house of Abdul Halim are spectacular fail at catching rats single-handedly like the mighty felinus feline that you are. In short, don't do that again. Ever.

Okay, on to other news.

Exams are ovaaaaaaah~! And I went through it completely emotionless. Which is worrying. Bitching about the exams is one thing, but being apathetic towards it is just... wrong. Attitude is important in taking the next step. I need to have better control of myself.

Oh, right, things that happened. Went to the movies with Aliaa and Som to watch HP7 yesterday and was pleasantly surprised to find that the movie did not suck half bad. Emma Watson definitely took the limelight for this movie. Yet it peeves me off to see the three main characters not acting very, um, best-pal kind of thing together. Their interaction together seemed forced, awkward at best, which is surprising considering the time they must have spent together filming the series. The tension is probably mainly because of the plot of the 7th movie in itself, but I always get this feeling whenever I watch any of the movies. It's just odd. Or maybe it's a British personal privacy thing.

And finally, before I leave, KHR OST is just epic. I'll consider driving more often if I have the OST playing full blast in the car. Or it might send me off on another daydream. That's not very good. I just mentioned that I need to have better control! (am listening to Ryohei's track and it's just, ugh, ugh ;___; I WANT SO BAD!)

eden is hard to find when the cage is duty and the mind is prisoner. ego binds and blinds and we're lost in ourselves. be wary of reflections and the mist of content, of complacency.

be very wary.

Jumping in front of a train almost seems viable at this point of my career as a dental student. If I could blow bubbles on the track as the LRT eagerly reshes to knock me under, then that'd be cool. Then again, LRT moves at the speed of a 95-year old granny with a walker (astounding; considering it has it's own private track with no danger of getting caught in a traffic jam) so these brittle bones of mine will simply get crushed agonizingly slowly and I'll be able to feel each tantalising sensation. Oooh. Bieber shriek.

Yeah, suicide by train-jumping is not gonna happen.

Ambitious me had grand plans about packing amalgam by the end of the Thursday session, and at the rate things were going, matrix band in by 3.50pm, I was delighted and feeling somewhat accomplished. There was definitely time for amalgam packing! Showed the matrix band placement to Dr Angela by 3.55pm, she complained it was too short (which it was, so I wouldn't hold it against her at this point), the two of us struggled with some double band or other method for a good 20 minutes, I decided that a broad band would fit much better and by 4.15pm (time! time!) asked her if I could use that method instead and her reply was, 'Actually, I was waiting for you to ask me that. Yes, you can, but I want you to learn that method no matter how difficult and time-consuming it is. So haha, go off and enjoy twisting your fingers!'

The last bit is an exaggeration but hnnngggghh that woman makes me want to jump in front of a train.

And prostech is a bitch, bitch and a half. Ugh. I totally died and refused to budge from the bed, even though it was Aliaa's and not mine. Sorry guys, for being a bit emotionally unstable just now. Well, more so than my normal dose of abnormality that is. Oh, but I was awfully touched when Jivvie offered to help out with my dentures, despite it being past closing time. En Syamsol was being surprisingly helpful as well. A 3rd year senior once commented on how terribly selfish dental students are, but I think she just mixed in with the wrong group. This past week showed a wonderful bunch of young students helping one another out as each struggled to finish their own projects in time. Kindness, no matter how small the degree may be, need not be killed in the rush for success.

I'm still bummed out from optech and prostech, but this simple display of... I dunno, friendship, leaves a profound effect that continues to swell and fill my thoughts despite being slouched over the computer alone in my room hours after lab. Alone, but not lonely. It doesn't feel half bad.