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you know about the voices that speaks in your head?i listen to them somtimes. most of the times. sometimes they tell me good things. sometimes they make me wish for bad things. |
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about this blog
it's basically the inside of sakinah's brain.but mercifully edited, censored, and anaesthesised with a heavy dose of prozac. tagboard
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Design: doughnutcrazyIcon: morphine_kissed |
365
What is in a year?A lot, obviously. Whoever came up with the idea to clearly define a period of time and measure the events happening then to be confined strictly to that period is insane. But then again, historians would come up with a different way to measure time, I guess. Anyway, here's my 2018. 1- Continued with my Restorative attachment. And then Aliff got transferred to Selangor and I was acting like a total willy-nilly and I did not even ask for placement as a permanent officer in Resto. I mean, wtf is my attachment to KPPJ? 2- Everybody is leaving me. 3. So I left the Ruby apartment. Haven't asked for my deposit back yet, though. But changing apartments definitely lifted my mood up a little. I've been drawing a lot more lately. Nothing particularly fancy, but the chances of me liking a work I've done increases when I actually do some work. 4. Went to Seoul with Nadia, Aishah, and Sarah, who is Aishah's friend. We went by MAS and that was a pretty nice trip overall. I learned that Nadia has a more chillaxed side to her, and that I do not tolerate the cold very well at all. 5. Went to New Zealand with Aliaa, Aki, Ain, Dayana and Syafiqah (?), who is Aliaa's friend. That was 2 weeks well spent. I should make a proper itinerary of it one of these days. 6. Bought a Nintendo Switch early this year. PS4 is currently still under my parents' jurisdiction, and the fan is starting to sound really weird when I play a game. A pity, 'coz I really would like to play a proper console game. Still haven't finished Persona 5 (yikes!), Berseria, Ni no Kuni 2 and FFXII. 7. Acted as YM for the second time in 4 years. Totally realising that I'm not interested in leading unless it's something I'm actually passionate about. Can't change a tigers' stripes, I guess. 8. Accepting my loneliness is easier than I thought it'd be. Tried going on the CmB app. Maybe I should give it another go in 2019. That said, here are my goals in 2019: 1. MJDF Part 1. Pass or not, doesn't matter. Get out of this academic rut, Sakinah! 2. Kingdom Hearts 3, but I don't really care about that right now, as I lie here typing in my bed. 3. Draw more. That's about it I guess. See you again in 3 years time. Stand By With Turkey
If peace and humanity is truly what you seek,then be clear and stand by Turkey. A nation shocked by the horrendous crime, that sent ripples of fear across the land. Stand by Turkey. Just like how the world stood by with Paris, with Charlie. Stand by Turkey. Or will you not do that because the pictures depicted; bloodied victims, scenes of carnage, scarved women, people you could identify as Muslims. As different. Don't disappoint me, Charlie. Homoerotic, but not BL: House of Five Leaves
Subtle homoeroticism has been around in anime targeted towards a mature female audience for quite some time, but the clearest landmark I can recall in recent memory without having to rely on wikipedia is Natsume Ono's House of Five Leaves. Putting aside the blatantly BL/Yaoi titles at the time, House of Five Leaves stood out with it's two male protagonists who are clearly more than a little interested in each other, but the subject of whether that interest was romantic or platonic remained hard to tell. In fact, in terms of a BL timeline, the entire series could very well have just been the first 18mins of the first episode before they start off on the raunchy and steamy scenes. Not that I have anything against that- except for everything but that's a topic for another day.Anime titles for female otaku have been more or less a rather niche market. They either cater for younger, older women, and/or soooomewhere in between. I suppose BL would usually fall into the gray whirlpool of indeterminate aging category because of it's mature content but the cliche storylines and themes also make it easy to market towards a younger audience. Perhaps it's sort of like a cesspool breeding ground for future hardcore fujoshi/fudanshi #tongue-in-cheek. Which brings us back to House of Five Leaves because it blurs the lines a little. The storyline and pacing is written with a mature audience in mind, but the developing relationship between the male protags is undeniably the focal point of the story, and hence, its major marketing ploy. This is where it gets ambiguous. It's clear that the two of them are beginning to include the other into each others' worlds, and the playful dango-bite at the end might even paint a romantic scene to those that are so-inclined. In the end, however, viewers/readers are open to their own interpretation regarding the protags' relationship. Naturally, there are other points to House of Five Leaves besides the vague and questionable pairing. That's just one of the points that stood out to me the most because there wasn't another show quite like it at the time. There's the bug-eyed and expressive design and flair that is a regular trademark of Natsume Ono's. That is to say, it may take some time to get used to, but it's a style that works well enough. I find the pacing and the storyboarding very relaxing as well, and yet it still manages to leave a deep and lasting impression. The music score helped to make the scenes more memorable as well, I think. These days, the anime industry does offer more in terms of choices to their ever-expanding female clientele. Well, they'd have to. The tweens that grew up watching Kare kano or the insanely-popular Fruits Basket have grown up (for the most part) into adults with expanding horizons. And I believe House of Five Leaves helped open up doors for stories with subdued atmospheres and questionable pairing of older adult males. And I think that just makes it more exciting for a consumer such as myself. What other strange stories are they going to come up with in the future? Dear Charlie Hebdo Evangelists,
With regards to tumblrians who are tired at having to defend their 'jesuischarlie' stand- I have to say this one thing.
Stand by what you believe in. Don't show anybody on this godforsaken website that you're getting pissed by their attitude. Don't let them know that you're getting tired. 'Tired' shouldn't even be in your vocabulary.
Take my advice. Believe me. I've had years of experience in these things.
Every time the media puts together 'Terrorist, 'Islamist', 'Radical', 'Fundamentalist,''Muslim'- it stings a little. And it has, ever since I could read the newspapers and 9/11 happened. I identify myself as a Muslim, and I do not like having the word 'terror' being associated with me every. single. time i switch on the news. But hey.
What about Ferguson? LGBTQ community? Palestine? Are they getting tired?
The truth is, we are all getting sick (and tired) of the world not listening to us, of having to defend our ideology and beliefs. We're sick of being made fun off, as if the things we stand for don't matter to the rest of the world. But that doesn't mean we're going to stop defending our ideals.
So to the 'jesuischarlie' community. Keep on trudging.
And I'll reiterate my own belief that the Charlie Hebdo newspapers were crass, tasteless, and lacking in common courtesy. Did they deserve the terror that befell them? Not. At. All. Did they deserve the international call for solidarity in the name of free speech? I guess it depends on which end of 'free speech' you're referring to. Did you mean 'free speech' much in the same vein as Hebdo's ape comics? Really, you enjoyed that?
Press on forward with your defense. At the end of the day, when you're all worn out, you can join us at the table sharing a drink (non-alcoholic for me). Because we're all tired from fighting our battles. More often than not, we may even be on opposing ends. But if the 'free speech' that you're fighting for is the same one that enabled me to speak my mind and confirm my right to publicly tell you about my discomfort with the #jesuischarlie movement, then surely you will allow me to have my say. Surely, you will not be too tired to listen to what I have to say.
we women typically see more blood
 "Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned"Everybody has their own stories of high school, and a girl like Carrie probably existed in quite a few of them. They might not share her talent for telekinesis, or her misfortune at having a fanatical mother, but I'm sure they're standing somewhere at the fringes of your memories. The jittery girl who tries to stay hidden, but looks on at the crowd all the same. Always the outsider looking in. Hell, most girls used to be that girl. Except something changed, times changed, we changed- and got accepted. More or less. Carrie is a dramatisation of these girls, what could have been, how it could have been... And note that I repeatedly say girls, because the entire story is also an extremely fucked up tale of the bloody cycle. And it also screams 'girl power'. Take it to the King to write a period joke for what is truly is- funny for the first 2 seconds before it quickly turns crude and prudish. The remake is anything but a joke though. It was pretty much a solid, emotional powerhouse. There were very few scenes that made me jump in my seat, but having read the novel and watched the 1976 movie, there really is very few scares left in Carrie to really make me scream. Margaret White is one of them, because, lets be honest, her fanatical ignorance is the real monster. And yet, she's still a mother, and no matter how twisted her love is, it's still the only bond that her daughter really ever knew. That's the thing about the story; its monsters aren't satanic, ghostly, or... cursed, whatever. Its monsters are human beings with all too familiar characteristics and complexities. Margaret White, Chris Hargensen, Billy Nolan, Carrie White, and all the nameless, faceless girls screaming, 'Plug it up, plug it up!' And the movie carried the message well enough for the audience to relate to their own moments of weaknesses. The instances when we all turned into monsters. In the end, Carrie did manage to pass off as a horror/thriller genre, but the intimate time the audience spent with Carrie White made me feel that the story is more of a tragedy. The life and death of a girl who could have been more. anxiety
 and try not to break that extra .20 could be used for plenty
more pedestrian walkways.pedestrian walkways that are user friendly to wheelchairs, and with a berth wide enough for people to walk their dogs without worrying about bothering other people. zebra crossings. road repairs. manhole repairs. more bridges. MRT. more pedestrian walkways that are user-friendly. better road planning. road planning. |